I am very experienced in therapy for trauma victims( PTSF, adult survivors of dysfunctional family systems, loss, and grief, divorce.
Please call me for a free 20-minute session if you are living in California. Phone sessions and internet sessions available.
Phone is 510-982-5104. also firstname.lastname@example.org
- The other person needs you to have only happy feelings. There is no room for any negative or painful feelings. This person wants and needs you to bolster his or her low energy or low self esteem. You have a right to the full spectrum of human feelings.
- This other person cannot tolerate having to compromise or yield to your request or preference. It is his or her way or the highway. You deserve someone who can soothe oneself when you do not satisfy this other person. Relationships are about taking turns, give and take and mature negotiation.
- The converse of # 2 is toxic as well. This is the person who never has a preference. What you hear a lot is- “Whatever you want” or “Anything- I’m easygoing.” This may feel great at first but a healthy relationship is comprised of 2 strong people who express their wants and feelings and learn to deal with conflict. If you want a relationship that is full of passion and energy for the long haul, you want someone who is a force to be reckoned with and not an emotional marshmallow.
There are many other toxic patterns that healthy people avoid and these were three that I see often in my practice. Be clear what you want, set boundaries and get out of any relationship where any of these three patterns continue. Of course, the relationship optimist I am says- confront the person and if things change or the person gets into a therapy or coaching situation where it can change (i.e.- he or she takes your feedback seriously), you can definitely see how the story ends. People are not necessarily chained to their toxic ways!
The truth is you have been lied to, manipulated, and set up, your entire life. The game was set up way before you were even born. Your parents were lied to also, and their parents before them. While they toiled under these lies, it is only now, in this generation, that ignorance of this system will lead to total disaster.
You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has freedom.
History despite its wrenching pain cannot be unlived
But if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
Your struggle is your strength. If you can resist becoming negative, bitter or hopeless, in time, your struggles will give you everything
© “What makes lust different from love”?©
“Love brings relaxation, lust brings tension”
“In lust there is cunning and manipulation, in love there is playfulness”
“Lust focuses on a part, love focuses on the whole”
“In lust you want to grasp and possess, in love you want to give and surrender”
“Lust demands, love commends”
“In lust you are confused, in love you are focused”
“Lust impressions and destroys, love liberates and sets free”.
Lust brings violence, love brings sacrifice”
“Sri Sri Ravi Shankar”
A Fool is one who goes on trusting; a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience. You deceive him and he trusts you; and you deceive him again and he trusts you… Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.